October is a special month for Zombie Movie Night. It’s the anniversary. It’s the month most associated with horror, so everyone’s more in the mood to be scared. Last year we decided to kick off Year 2 by watching four movies instead of two. What a mistake! It was a little tedious and we were falling asleep during Movie #4. (We’re not young!) So to kick off Year 3, we decided to watch four movies again, only this time much more reasonably over the course of two nights. Will Year 3 be the year when we run out of good stuff to watch or are there still some gems out there? Only one way to find out…
We kicked off our anniversary special with Days of Darkness, a low budget affair (aren’t they all?) centering on a young couple in love who find themselves joining other survivors after a meteor delivers the zombie apocalype via alien breeding. There are some interesting twists and new takes on the zombie genre but not enough to make the movie itself entertaining. As per usual with this kind of film, the problem lies in the acting and the writing. Characters are all over the map in terms of emotion, reactions and motivations …so much so that you can never get a good feel for what’s going on. One guy’s a hothead, then he’s okay, then he’s super pissed, then he’s nice, then he’s pissed, then he’s obsequious. It’s ridiculous. Also, the way to defeat the aliens is so easy, my niece could have figured it out. Though it doesn’t help much long term when the cure kills the human host, now does it? Better just drunkenly stumble off into the sunset and roll credits, eh? Not a good start to Year 3. I give this one a D.
The second movie would almost certainly have to fare better than that crapfest. It’s a wacky entry from Japan called Battle Girl: The Living Dead in Tokyo Bay. Except for…zzzzzzz
Oh sorry, fell asleep during it. How could something with that title from that country be so boring? Well, they pulled it off. The cast includes pro wrestlers doing pro wrestler moves, a villain who uses an electric stick to shock his enemies and a team of comic relief punks and yet…I almost fell asleep. For real?? It’s amazing that a movie could take all that potential and squander it with lots and lots of nothing happening, unclear motives, lack of clarity as to who is on what side, surprisingly few zombies, dated politics and did I mention boringness. I was shocked and disappointed. I give this one a D also.
If it had ended there, it would have been one of the saddest, most disappointing Zombie Movie Nights in recorded history. But alas, there was a chance for redemption…
Admittedly, I was demoralized by the events of Friday night and had little hope that Saturday would be any better. I mean the name of the day has TURD right in it, for Christ’s sake. And someone thought it would be cute if we could get the whole family involved and watch Scooby Doo on Zombie Island. This couldn’t be good.
I haven’t been the target audience for Scooby and the gang for quite some time, but I’ll give them credit for getting a few laughs out of me. Like Shaggy having an entire suitcase full of green shirts. I usually like that wink-wink meta humor. Could have used more of it. No guys in masks this time around. The zombies are real. So are the …cat worshiping immortals… Things get a little weird in this one…even for a cartoon. Still, compared to Friday night, Scooby Doo came away smelling like roses. I give the Mystery Team a C.
So if you’re keeping track, that’s two duds and a cartoon. Not exactly our crowning achievement as zombie aficionados. Luckily, we still had one more to go and it was…ugh…sigh…Zombie Women of Satan. How could that possibly be any good? I jokingly told the Top 10 to move over as I did not have high hopes for this one and yet….and yet…what’s this? A Hail Mary in the 4th quarter…caught! Zombie Women of Satan was GREAT. I laughed my butt off. I did not know what this movie was going into it, I don’t know what I expected it to be, but what I definitely did not expect it to be was a raunchy British comedy.
Basically, a troupe of idiotic sideshow performers stumble into a cult compound to record a promotional spot for their act on an internet TV show put on by the …cult leader. It’s a weird set up, but when your main character is named Pervo the Clown, plot is not really all that important. Though not technically Satanic, the zombies are definitely women and most of them have their boobs hanging out, much to the delight of Pervo. This movie obviously doesn’t take itself too seriously, is really funny and even manages to turn a few horror conventions on their head. Surely the guy taking a dump will die…or not?!!? Surely the guy who splits off to masturbate will die…or not?!!? Even the people who live, the people who die and how the deaths occur are somewhat surprising…and also hilarious in one instance. Not to mention that I crowned a new favorite gag in a zombie comedy. One character tries to console another who is remorseful over a former-friend-turned-zombie they had to kill. *dramatic moment* “That wasn’t [so-and-so]!!” *looks again* “Oh, wait, yes it was!” Unexpectedly, inexplicably, Zombie Women of Satan salvaged the Zombie Movie Night Anniversary Weekend and gets a solid A grade.